Inspiration

What inspires people?

Everyone is inspired by different things. I am inspired mainly by two things: the sports teams at the University of Notre Dame, and seeing good things happen to my college classmates.

I have definitely seen a lot of the latter. It seems like every time I look around, another awesome thing has happened to someone I graduated with. A slew of people I graduated with are now on their second job; ironically, in most cases, their first job is one I'd have killed to have. Hell, someone who graduated a year behind me (albeit from Notre Dame, a much better school than my own) just got promoted to his second position, barely a year and a half out of college.

It's not like I never want good things to happen to my classmates. After all, many of them are my friends - according to Facebook at least, they all are. The selfish part of me feels alone, though, because none of those professionally good things are happening to me. Hell, one of my friends who can barely write at all got a job which includes a weekly sports column. It is in North Dakota, granted, a state I have no intention of going to ever, and I'd probably rather just live here with a shitty job the rest of my life than go there. But the simple fact that anyone out there would rather employ someone besides me when I'm a better writer stings.

I recently applied to a position in Maryland, a position that wasn't yet open but was expected to be. The present occupant of said position was expected to be going to grad school, but did not get in. I wouldn't have gotten the job anyway, but it was indicative of the marketplace - people are trying to get out of it, and I still can't sneak in. I've almost completely given up on the idea of having a sportswriting job and now I'm kind of just hoping I can get a 9-5 job that would allow me to have a family and continue to be a sports fan. It's a sad turn of events in a life that most people once believed had such potential.

Perhaps I've been wrong all along to view being a sports fan as my real calling. I have placed too much emphasis my whole life on being the best sports fan I can be and not enough on making myself employable. I suppose, in a way, this whole situation is my fault. I have long prefaced any complaint I had about my life by saying that no one is more responsible for the predicament than I am. And it's true, unfortunately. It'd be nice I guess, to blame someone besides me for what my life is, but I can't, because it wouldn't be true.

I'm not sure what set me off on this off-topic post except that I ought to keep this blog alive, if only for my own self-interest. Maybe the occasional personal entry isn't such a bad idea.